When You're Smiling...

The Official Smiley Dictionary - how to make 'em, when to use 'em, smiley cards, smiley fonts, more smileys than you can shake a stick at.

Ancient Inventions

The Smith College Museum of Ancient Inventions, showcasing such unforgettable blockbusters as the catapult (above) and the humble folding chair, which hasn't really changed a lot since 2000 B.C.

Extra, Extra! Read All About It!

Today's Front Pages - view the front pages of various newspapers from around the world daily.

Welcome to My World

My friends on cable, dsl, etc...have you ever wondered what it would be like to walk a mile in my 56k shoes?

Wonder no more - just go to waitallday.com, sit back, grab a good book or knitting needles or something else to pass the time and thank God above you're not me. Be sure and watch the status bar as this loads.

Farewell to Thee, Napster - R.I.P.

For good, this time.

I have to admit...even though, for all intents and purposes, it died long ago and everyone's moved on to this p2p or that...this simple declaration of defeat on Napster's site kind of made me weepy for the "old days", when everyone was one big, happy, thieving family.

The Beaufort Scale of Domestic Squalor

Wait...you mean fungus is a bad thing? Even if it matches your drapes? Hmm...

Thou Shalt Not Quake

Get this - the Greek government has banned electronic games - all of them - outright. In an effort to abolish electronic gambling (which was already illegal), they've decided that it was too hard for officials to differentiate between gambling games and everyday, harmless game-games, so they've outlawed them all. Whether you're playing the ponies on the net or just playing a harmless game of Collapse on your computer, you're in danger of 3 months in the slammer and a 10,000 euro fine.

I'm curious as to what Microsoft has had to say about this, since Windows ships with games and obviously they and other Corporate Giants have a stake in this. Internet cafe owners are already freaking out, as this threatens to wipe out their businesses altogether - obviously.

Note from the Technical Dept.

I just noticed that my archives template was completely screwed and it only took me three days to realize it.

Anyway, they're fixed now, in a temporary Blogger-default, ultra-ugly form. On the off-chance anyone out there was trying to access them and it was keeping them up at night...your prayers have been answered - knock yourself out.

Yeee-haahhh!!!

Take the Hazzard County driver's test.

The Tornado of Fire

David Coppperfield's got a really, really cool Flash site. Wouldn't it be nice if John Edwards would just break down and admit he's a magician too? Oh wait, no...his act sucks too much for that.

Who Wouldn't Want to Slide on the Titanic?

Now you can - the kids will love recreating one of the most memorable disasters of our time on this inflatable waterslide version of the doomed ocean liner. Fun, fun, fun! Sharks, iceburg and inflatable floating corpses sold separately.

More New Sodas on the Way

Well, by now you've probably heard about Dr. Pepper's new drink, Red Fusion. Following suit behind the other cola big-boys and their recent releases of new flavors is 7up, which is getting a new, green, fruit-flavored version called dnL (7up, upside-down).

Headline Haikus

All the news in seventeen syllables:

Chicago's South Side
The problem of finding slots
in coveted schools

Burglar Tunnels into Neighbor's Home

So you're a burglar, but you're also an agoraphobic - meaning you have a fear of open spaces. What do you do? This guy solved the problem by smoking a bunch of crack and tunneling into his neighbor's house.

Desktops, Russian-style

Some stylin' wallpapers for your desktop - in various resolutions - from a site in Russia.

Awwww....

Pointless (but cute) Flash animation of a cat who purrs and swipes at your cursor.

Dear God, Won't Someone Please Make This Person Go Away?

I don't get it, hasn't Puff Dumbass blown through his money by now? Shouldn't he have already gone the way of fellow hacks like Hammer and filed for bankruptcy or something? Instead, he continues to linger, wearing out his welcome like the party guest that refuses to leave - sitting on your couch, talking about himself and raiding your fridge long after everyone else has went home.

The Smoking Gun snagged one of the invites from his latest party and it's one of the most narcissistic, self-important things I've ever seen.

Dubbed - with typical Puff modesty - "The Greatest Party of All Time", the invitation included a list of guidelines for those planning to attend. Guys, leave those scuffed shoes at home and gals - no pedicure, no dice. Also, if you weren't wearing Gucci or one of the other designers on Puff's ultra-shallow list of faves, forget about it loser. Thankfully, for those not certain of the definition of "flyness", the host graciously recommended that you you "think of me", at the CDFA awards, for instance, as one of many examples.

Were there any justice in the world, an earthquake would have swallowed up this party and all who attended - sucking them deep into the bowels of the earth, where they'd never be heard from again.

Tedi, the Martial Arts Teddy Bear

You may wanna let this one load while you're in the shower or something if you're on a 56k like yours truly, even the low-bandwidth version is over 2 megs.

How Much is My Pez Dispenser Worth?

Probably a dollar - but hey, if you happen to have a gem like the ultra-ugly Green Hornet Pez pictured above (valued at $760 U.S.) it might be worth looking into in this searchable priceguide.