Yacking with the Babel Fish:

So I'm bored and looking for things to do and I go to Altavista's Babelfish translator, which is supposed to translate web pages and text for you, from German to English or Spanish to Russian or what have you. It's been around awhile and I always thought it was a neat little web application, in theory - sort of like the "universal translators" they used on Star Trek to converse with people of other races.

Only thing is, it doesn't really work that well...you can get some pretty odd interpetations of the language sometimes...for instance, here's a section of a recent news article about James Brown, in it's original English:

James Brown Off the Hook

A Los Angeles Superior Court jury has cleared James Brown of sexual harassment charges against a former female employee, but ruled the soul belter's company must still face the music for wrongfully terminating her.

Lisa Ross Agbalaya, a 36-year-old former model and mother of three who served as the West Coast president of James Brown Enterprises, sued the legendary singer for $1 million, accusing him of harassing her and making unwanted sexual advances when she visited his home in Augusta, Georgia, in 1999.

The suit, filed in May 2000, claimed, " 'Sex Machine' is more than simply a title to one of James Brown's many hit records; it would also appear to be a description of James Brown the man."

(Article from Entertainment - E! Online Music)

Okay...now here's the article after I translated it (using Babelfish) into Japanese, then back to English. (note: I've left a blank underline in the spot where translation of the Japanese characters seemed not to have worked at all, in lieu of pasting them (so no one would have to hassle with a "this page requires Japanese language support" download message from their browser) and inserted caps where needed) :

The James Becomes Brown from the Hook Separated

The Teaching Father of Mind feels approximately now whose substance is good.

The jury of the Los Angeles excellent courthouse removed the Brown of the James of ____ fullness vis-a-vis the employee of the female before, the company of the belter of mind being controlled, music in order to finish her illegally must calm down the surface.

She was useful the Augusta, when Georgia visited that house someone bother her as coastal president of West of brown enterprise of the James, in 1999 advance of unnecessary characteristic, the singer of legend for the $1,000,000 which appeals him, the Agbalaya of 3 it is appealed, 36 years before being old, the model and mother Lisa Ross.

In May which is required the suit which 2000 year file is done than " ' to be more characteristic machine ' title simply is to one of many collision records of Brown of the James; In addition as for that the person it probably is description of Brown of the James. "

I have no idea why I did all this, out-and-out boredom, mostly - but I like the way the article reads this way, really...you can almost figure out what the heck it's about but not quite, it sounds like some kind of bizarre mental-patient prose.

I don't think Brown of the James would object to being called "The Teaching Father of Mind", it sounds like a really cool Japanese title for a learned Zen Master, although it doesn't have the snappiness of "Godfather of Soul".

Incidentally, I realize that making the Japanese to English conversion and then reversing the process may have made for more errors than normally would occur and sabotaged the translation slightly, but as far as I can tell, that's the same kind of accuracy you get from Babelfish in general.

Here's a translation of an article about the current "Courtney Love versus The Goo-Goo Dolls" legal wranglings I found on a popular german music site. There are no line breaks in this one because I don't speak german, it's as is, translated directly from german to english:

How from sets the New York post office oozed, at present the private recordings of Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain in New Yorks publisher sets make the round. " Kurts family tried to publish on basis of its writings a book ", was called it by a source designated not more near. There would be Songtexte, drawings, papers over its career plans for Nirvana, revised lists of its favourite disks and out-curving sections over drug consumption and the media. Such a book could possibly support the argumentation of the Cobain widow Courtney Love. In her law case with the ex-Nirvana-musicians Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters) and Krist Novoselic tries to state the getting front woman that Cobai was the actual creative strength behind Nirvana and you should be entitled as a widow the order over the musical deduction alone.

Huh???? I didn't get all of that, did you? From what I gather, though, Courtney's winning and good for her, I like the Goo-Goo's and all but I think she's caught a bad rap as the evil dragonlady behind Kurt's death. She's actually a surprisingly smart, literate person and has a lot of interesting opinions, as you can see by visiting her band Hole's website - which, by the way, is easily one of the coolest band sites I've ever come across. Courtney was pro-Napster - unlike a lot of people whom I won't mention by name (Napster Bad!) and has dozens of mp3s - including some of Hole's biggest hits - available on the site for free.

Oh well, enough with my Babelfish musings and ramblings about Hole...I was just in a writing mood today, I guess.

I will now return you to our regularly scheduled programming of funny pictures and links. Thank you for your indulgence.