Soccer Violence

Mad your favorite soccer team got beaten? Get some kung-fu-style revenge in Ultimate Soccer Knockout.

Cheaters Never Prosper

Ice Cream in a Bag

A little recipe for making ice cream by shaking the ingredients in Ziploc baggies.

Mini Moo

These folks breed little miniature cows. I can't imagine why, but they do look like they'd make neat pets if you lived in the country.

Bad Taste Bears

Like the name says...bears, bad taste. That pretty much says it all.

AOL Sucks - Reason No. 22,352,563

A glitch in AOL's software has been causing their customer's computers to dial 911.

Monopoly Strategies

A lot of helpful hints about the game Monopoly, from Hasbro.

Some Welcome News from the World of Medicine

Researchers say they've cured 200 lab rats of cancer and expect their new approach will cure as many as 1/3 of all cancers in human beings.

nbc5i.com - HealthWatch - Cure For Cancer?

Having a Dylan Moment Over Here

Look, everybody...go to your Kazaa or Kazaa Lite or Gnutella Client or what have you and download and listen to Bob Dylan's song Masters of War, right now - okay? It's some powerful stuff and it's as relevant now as it was back when he wrote it. Oh...and If you think Bob has a "funny voice" or is too "old"...well then F*** you. Deal with it, he's Bob Dylan - a genius - and you're just some random person. Are you the voice of your generation? Probably not.

"Some random person", mind you, includes standout celebs, politicians, sports figures, entertainers, poets, business magnates, founding fathers - you name it. Unless you happen to be Pablo Picasso or Elvis or Martin Luthor King Jr., more than likely you haven't had as much impact on the popular culture as Bob has. Just get it - and listen to every word - and think about what the hell exactly is going on in the world right now and how deadly serious it is.

These days nobody gives a rat's ass about politics, in general. Sorry, but it's true. Your average person on the street doesn't give a damn - a Mussolini clone could be elected President due to voting errors and nobody would get up in arms about it, as long as it didn't pre-empt a Fear Factor rerun on FOX. As long as the MTV is still going strong and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston are okay, everything is fine.

People think Eminem is outspoken and outrageous. I like Eminem, I'm not knocking him. But whereas Mr. Mathers expounds on the shocking aspects of the language for laughs and entertainment, these kind of lyrics were, for all intents and purposes, a revolutionary act. When I listen to this song I'm just in awe of the man's guts - frankly I'm surprised that Bob didn't wind up in a desert grave somewhere for writing songs like these, with some artfully perpetrated "accident" listed as his cause of death, considering the times in which they were written. Now, though, in our time, they seem even more volatile and provoking. Speaking out, whether you're right or wrong, isn't tolerated these days. Perhaps you've read about the recent Bush speech at Ohio State...if not, you should. It's damn scary. I can't even believe that it happened in the United States of America. I love this country and I want to support our president, but it's hard sometimes...I doubt Nixon himself would have had the nerve to threaten people with arrest or detain them for merely turning their back on him. The sheer gall of it amazes me.

Well, that's my little socio-political commentary for the month, tomorrow I'll return you to your regularly scheduled diet of funny articles and sites and Flash cartoons. I was just listening to that song and a lot of feelings I've had lately about the state of our nation and the globe came to the forefront and I felt like I had to say something. If you're too lazy/bandwidth deprived to download the Dylan song, you can read the lyrics here.

Nano, Nano!

Those wacky nanostructure guys are at it again, this time they've built the world's teeniest, tiniest guitar, complete with strings. At around ten microns long, this baby's about the size of a red blood cell. Amp not included.

VillianSupply.com, For All Your Villianous Needs

From their site:

From Scaramanga & No, LLC, the world's #1 choice in villainous architecture and weapons systems, the Doomsday Star Satellite fires a single fusion-powered energy blast that instantly liquifies the Earth's crust, destroying all life. Be the envy of other supervillains. Orbital insertion not included.*

Price: US$1,200,000,000 (additonal 10% discount for recidivist VilAnon members)
*requires the Halex Diamond for beam cohesion; currently stored at the Pentagon's High Security Facility in Virginia.

2002 Webby Winners Announced - What's Wrong With This Picture?

Well, the votes have been counted and the 2002 Webby Awards are in. Surprisingly, shockingly, even - this site was nowhere to be found, which is confounding, to say the least. Oh well, Fark - which I steal half my links from - didn't get anything either, so I'll try not to feel too bad.

Besides, I don't think it's quite as big a deal as it used to be anyways - with the lack of all that mad dot.com cash that used to get tossed around like R. Kelly handing out Pokemon cards to potential dates, I think this year's ceremony was held in an IHOP or something anyway, so no big loss. Still, too bad - I'd already written my four-word acceptance speech: "Drew Curtis got farked!".

No, We Don't Sell Big Macs - That's Mcdonald's...Grrrr

The Burger King Therapy Center is a place for the beleaguered workers of Burger King to unite and share a few war stories:

Here at the Burger King Therapy Center we strive to be a compassionate solace for the tortured & battered souls of past, present and future BK employees. We hope you will find comfort in being here - A place to share your stories, your tears and your victories. Or just laugh everyone else's!

Powers of 10

A cool little java applet that gradually takes you from a picture ten million miles from the outer rim of the Milky Way to a face-to-face meeting with a single photon in Florida by magnifying it's view 10 times with each snapshot.

The Cult of Hasslehoff

I was at B3TA awhile back and they had a link to some surprisingly gushing reviews of a David Hasslehoff cd on Amazon. Well, it seems the link inspired some of their readers to go there and post their own over-the-top reviews, some of which are really hilarious - shining accounts of the album that put Best of David Hasslehoff on a plane well above Sgt. Pepper and Bridge Over Troubled Water abound, along with praise of his acting ability and overall genius and charisma, which is compared favorably with that of God's on more than one occasion. Here's a typical example:

Reviewer: Victoria from Bristol, England
I'm writing through a veil of tears having listened to this CD, which I can only describe as a work of art. Tears of wonder at the feelings that the songs evoke in me. Tears of sadness as the beautiful words and melodies re-open every mental or emotional wound that I believed had healed. Lastly, tears of joy at finally finding what I have been searching for all my life. I feel that my life is complete now that I have David and his work in it........and I am at peace with the world.

By the way, I feel that Hot Shot City deserves a special mention.

I think I'm going to go back to Amazon right now and start a new John Tesh thread, this is just too funny :)

Canadian Superheroes

A site about superheroes from Canada.

Star Wars...FOR ME TO POOP ON!

This link's a bit stale, I suppose, but hey...I didn't get around to watching Episode II till last weekend and I haven't watched this until today, so what the heck, it's pretty funny.

Conan O'Brien's "Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog" hassles die-hard Star Wars nerds standing in line for the latest installment.

Did You Hear What I Said?

The Al Pacino Soundboard (warning: foul language - duh - it's the Al Pacino Sounboard, so obviously...)

For Love of Beer and Back Bacon

A fan site dedicated to my favorite Canadian television hosts, Bob and Doug McKenzie, of SCTV and Strange Brew fame.

Snap Your Desk

At Snap Your Desk you can view photos of other people's desktops and upload your own to share with the world.