Saturday, March 09, 2002

Friday, March 08, 2002

This Just In! My Friend Tara Has a Blog! Yay!

My friend Tara just got done setting up her first blog - so stop by already at Tara's Corner and put some mad hits on her page, right now!
Man dyes Chow - Creates "PandaDog"

Thursday, March 07, 2002

JP Brown's Serious LEGO
Okay, so I'm just in an artsy mood today...

Here's a really well done site about the artist Jheronimus Bosch, pretty much anything you'd want to know, even some kind of weird Bosch multi-player videogame.

BoschUniverse - home
Who knew Burt Reynolds Did An Album?

This and other supremely frightening musical moments can be found at Miserable Melodies.
Happy Birthday, Piet! Happy Birthday, Piet!

Google celebrated artist Mondrian's birthday today by putting this little twist on their logo:

Here's a gallery of other special logos Google's used in the past.
King Pong
The Onion's Metatag

I was bored awhile ago, sitting here waiting on The Onion's page to load (I don't know what it is - the tons of traffic they recieve, I guess - but it's one of the slowest-loading pages I frequent) and I got to looking at their source particular, their meta-tag keywords (a meta-tag, for anyone who doesn't know, is a list of words that search engine spiders look at to determine what your site's all about) I think they've pretty well got everything under the sun covered, no wonder it's so popular. Note: I censored a couple words, it's not like you won't be able to figure out what they are but I shy away from including certain terms on here, trying to keep it semi-family oriented :)

The Onion, Onion, Harry Potter, Clinton, sex, Bill Clinton, Jesus, Bush, comedy, humor, publication, media, news, source, jokes, weekly, magazine, gay, what do you think, Christ, Savage Love, moon, God, Gore, all your base, ninja, f***, baby, special olympics, Bill Gates, Herbert Kornfeld, Smoove B, Star Wars, horoscope, marijuana, infographic, drugs, Kornfeld, Canada, death, shit, Nader, area man, rush, Al Gore, election, phish, dolphin, Marilyn Manson, c***, babies, cat, NBA, homosexual, special forces, h-dog, microsoft, point, counterpoint, statshot, holy shit, babies, Jim Anchower, religion, monkey, college, Starbucks, children, porn, pope, Don King, penis, smoove, anchower, dog, kids, hell, school, death star, Christmas, Ralph Nader, computer, zweibel, vagina, eminem, bear, red meat, burger king, Serbia, homosexuals, metric, video game, drug war, columbine, beer, pot, masturbation, Bill Nye, trailer park, police, Britney Spears, Mr. T, ferret, Taco Bell, George W, AV Club
Man dozes off at drive-thru, gets DUI
Captain's Log, Stardate 2002: William Shatner Has a Weblog

WhatIfSports is a site that uses computer simulations to calculate the game scores and play-by-plays for the classic sports match-ups that never were.

For instance, it lets you ask such burning questions as "What if the '95 Bulls played the 2001 Lakers?" (answer: Da Bulls)or "What if the '85 Bears played the '98 Packers?" (answer: Da Bears). THE Sports Simulation Site!
Iranian Barbie

Iran is unveiling a new line of dolls to compete with our evil western Barbie...the new dolls are just like our fun-loving California girl, except that she's named Sara and wears traditional clothes that - of course - can't be taken off.

Ken's counterpart is called Dara, in keeping with the Western Ken's long-running tradition of being a flaming homosexual.

Sales have thus far been non-existent. Iran first announced it would produce Sara and Dara in 1996, but technical problems (huh?) delayed production until now.

Yahoo! News - Iranian Dolls Do Battle with Barbie and Ken

Wednesday, March 06, 2002 - Collapse
This Is the World We Live In - March 6th, 2002 A.D.: The Return of the Roman Colliseum In The Post Absurdism Era

Well, today's the kind of day that blogs were created for, you've got everything today - the celebs and semi-celebs like Adam Ant are doing their part to contribute to our diet of essential news. Ant, as you may recall, completely flipped out awhile back.

The ninth time was the charm for rap star P. Diddy (previously known as Puff Idiot) as he finally found time in his busy schedule of dating supermodels and giving moronic interviews to show up in family court and start paying child support.

Then of course you have the out and out crazy stars, like trigger-happy former NBA center Jason Williams.

This just in - apparently Williams formerly had appeared in gun safety ads. If I was the legal counsel for the deceased's family, I'd bring that up in court.

"Well, well...Mr. Williams, your being the staunch advocate of gun safety that you are, of course you'd never have been carelessly waving around a shotgun in your bedroom that way and accidentally shot someone, surely you meant to do it." At the very least it's going to make him look like a complete hypocrite in front of the jury.

Sure, he was probably goofing around with the shotgun and it was accidental, but hey, the limousine driver's family should take everything they can - right down to his Nikes - just for his being so stupid, if not for lying about it and trying to cover it up as a suicide - as has been alleged.

Winona's out there shoplifting something as we speak, this point I wouldn't be surprised if Russel Crowe shot a bunch of people and hijacked a bus or something.

Even Mrs. Partridge is making headlines, preparing to duke it out in divorce court with her hubby Marty Ingels. It's full-tilt divorce mania in t.v. land these days.

Speaking of fights...I guess it's no wonder that in violent times like the ones we're living in, pugilism is all the rage - so much so that it looks our Washington D.C. may even tolerate Mike Tyson.

Meanwhile, FOX is readying to launch it's much hyped spectacle of semi-celeb human tragedies, the "Paula Jones vs. Tanya Harding" match - soon to be followed by a Danny "Danny Partridge" Bonaduce vs. Barry "Greg Brady" bout. Sure...this is going to meet with a wee bit of public outcry, but I have a feeling it'll be a huge hit.

I think celebrity boxing matches could be huge. We can only hope it catches on...just think of the possibilities for future bouts: Gary Hart vs. Gary Condit, M.C. Hammer vs. Vanilla Ice, Anne Heche vs. the hundreds of voices in her head...the entertainment possibilities are staggering.

I see could see this becoming the new national past time, it's got all the excitement and glamour of cockfighting, minus the guilty feeling of having harmed a real living being with feelings. My only suggestion is that they should throw in a few "Fear Factor" touches of torture before the actual fight, just to see how far these tabloid perennials and sitcom castoffs will go for a buck.

I'm betting Dustin Diamond would crawl buck-naked through a swimming pool of leeches, all the while barking like a dog if you promised him a hundred bucks and a George Foreman Grill. Isn't it in the best interest of television's viewing audience to find out? Come on, FOX, push the envelope a little...and bring back The Family Guy while you're at it.

Let's face it, Americans are obsessed with celebrity and whatever made you famous doesn't really matter, if you're famous for something embarassing, all the better - we're there, baby! - like a group of hammerheads on a sickly seal, ready to tear into that carcass and pick you apart till there's nothing left but the bones. You say you still want your fifteen minutes of fame, regardless? Then click here.

Then There's the Weird Stuff

Take, for instance, the instant-classic video of John Ashcroft belting out the song he wrote on television.

Fast-food prankster serves up a pot-laced taco to a customer who turns out to be a cop.

85,000 chickens killed in a lightning strike

Brains, brains and still more BRAINS!.

The Wild World of Web Design

This guy's site has a really original design, I love it.


In other design-related issue, check out the Society for the Elimination of the Color Pumpkin From the Web.

Ghost Sites - forgotten orphans of the internet.
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Seven Recurring Nightmares That Fail to Frighten
Maybe it's just because I'm half-awake but I found this hysterically funny.
McDonald's Drops 'Hammurderer' Character From Advertising

Tuesday, March 05, 2002

Skin of the Day Temporarily On Hold

I left the Skin of the Day out yesterday and today, probably nobody noticed, but I thought I'd mention it anyways. I'm only allotted a few megs on my isp's server and the skin files and images are starting to pile up. I'm going to have to do some housecleaning and possibly find another place to store some of my files, either that or talk with my isp and barter for some more space on their server.

I spent some time today toying with the template and found a few errors that I've corrected. There's still a major overhaul in the works but I'm not going to change things too drastically just yet.

Mostly the changes involve the look of the blog but I'm also planning on adding a few new things, such as a subscribe feature that will allow you to have updates to The Ends of the Earth sent to your email. I haven't worked out everything yet though and if it's going to send email to every subscriber each time I publish a new post, I'm going to have to change the way I do things slightly and just post everything and then publish at the end of the day.

Okay, that was really boring, now back to the fun stuff :)
Who Would Ever Have Guessed That Coffee Would Be HOT?

Well, yet another wave of morons have decided to take McDonald's to court because they were supposedly burned by the food chain's coffee.

I felt like I had to comment on this story because I'm just sick to death of the way our legal system is being abused by this sort of frivolous crap.

I've got news for you, you is hot. It can burn you.

This is something that most of us learn when we're three years old, it's a given. There shouldn't be a need for stricter warnings on coffee cups, in the same way there shouldn't be a need for warning labels on bricks that say "Danger, do not bash this repeatedly over your head - doing so may cause brain-damage and turn you into the kind of person who sues corporations because their drink was too hot!"

Coffee is, by definition, hot - preferably steaming hot.This is why most of us normal, non-brain-damaged people take care with it when we drink the stuff.

If you're some kind of mental-defective who's too stupid to realize that a cup of coffee is hot and can scald you, that shouldn't be McDonald's problem and it sure as hell shouldn't be the U.S. court system's problem.

What would these fools have the rest of us do? Drink our coffee lukewarm, because a small section of the populace are lawsuit-happy simpletons who can't tell the difference between hot and cold?

Not only should their cases be thrown out of court, the court should order that they be forced to wear badges labeling them as incompetents, so people like McDonald's cashiers will know that they're just not up to the task of handling a hot cup of joe, or using sharp objects, like plastic forks.

This, coupled with subjecting them to mandatory sterilization - so they won't muck up the gene pool further - should solve the problem of coffee burns. - McDonald's Under Fire For Hot Drinks
One Tin Soldier Rides Away....

Looks like they're going to do a remake of Billy Jack, the classic kung-fu movie that starred Tom Laughlin as a half Native-American Vietnam vet.

Yahoo! News - 'Billy Jack' on Way Back with Keanu

Monday, March 04, 2002

StreamCast Suggests Competitors Torpedoed Morpheus
A Disturbing Thought

Lately my hits have been slowly rising, it's hardly a mad rush of surfers beating at my door, but a slow trickle of incoming visitors from google and blogdex and such.

I was checking out the stats today and the search for Xiao Xiao cartoons still seems to be the no. 1 search that brings people here. There was one Google referral that really cracked me up, though: Some guy out there (or gal, who knows) searching for "Tonya Harding Porn" was directed this way due to the fact that I had a story on here about Ms. Harding and Amy Fisher's now defunct boxing match on Fox. (Fisher backed out and is going to be replaced with new contender Paula Jones, by the way)

I just can't help but think that with a zillion terrabytes of porn out there on the internet, it's kind of sad that anyone would waste their time looking for naked pictures of Tonya Harding.

Obviously, this person is completely deranged...but hey - whatever brings 'em in is fine by me. That said, I'd like to take a yet another google-baiting moment to mention "XXX sex porn shoe fetish asian bondage Bea Arthur naked."

Sunday, March 03, 2002

Build Your Own Gauss Rifle - How to Make a Magnetic Linear AcceleratorChapter 1: Magnetism
The Austin Chronicle Screens: Information Wants to Be Worthless
Pat the Obsessive Winamp Skin Collector's Skin of the Day:

Based on the cheesy Windows game "Minesweeper", here's today's pick - Mine Amp.

Dragon and Pheonix ^ Ads archive, greeting cards of automobile, celebrity, audio magazines advertising and more!
One of the Coolest Flash Toons I've Ever Seen

This is just way too funny :)

the double yolker
The Man Project