'Tis the Season...

     Well, I guess you noticed I couldn't resist tossing up some cheesy javascript snow on the old blog, just couldn't help myself, what can I say? I'm like one of those guys that goes nuts and turns their home into a zillion-kilowatt spectacle, like this guy, at heart. What the heck, it's only for a week or two and I used as much restraint as possible. I mean, I could have went full-on yuletide fever, with some awful Jingle Bells midi and blinking christmas tree lights draped all over it, so give me points for having a little restraint, at least.

Kiss Your Face

     I can't tell you how completely worthless, yet good, it is, that someone took the time out of their existence to photoshop the band KISS's makeup onto the faces of other, sometimes not-so-obvious celebrities, as well as the obvious ones. Kiss Your Face does just that and though - unfortunately - they don't do requests, if seeing Andy Griffith and Jean Simmons wearing the K.I.S.S. Army warpaint doesn't give you pause, I don't know what will. Jean Simmons, her face done up as "The Demon's" was pretty clever. I have to give it up for the guy who made these.

Flatbed Florals

     Artist Katina Matson's beautiful imagery, created by arranging flowers on a flatbed scanner, then fine-tuning and printing the resulting scans with inkjet printers. The originals must really be something...the examples on her page are referred to in the introduction as "low-res", but are still nice-sized pictures, full of depth and color and life.

R.I.P., Emily Post

     My friend Phil and I are in a chicken joint in Guntersville the other day, right? We're getting the stuff to go, so the waitress gives us our drinks and we sit down and have a seat on this large bench in front of the register. I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper out of one of those big, white, styrofoam cups - with no top on it. I planned on grabbing one and a straw on the way out and I mention this detail only because it's intregal to the rest of the story.
     So we're sitting there on this bench, which is right there to your left as you walk into the place and I've got my Dr. Pepper, holding it in my hand, when in comes this young family of three - dad, mom and an adorable little blonde-headed girl of about four years of age, I suppose. They're smartly dressed and attractive, your basic All-American nuclear family, the kind you see in the picture that comes with a new frame at Wal-Mart. They stroll up to the counter and place their order and then the waitress comes around from behind the counter to lead them to their table.
      Well, I look up at this scene and I'm thinking to myself, "gee, don't they look like a happy little family, I sort of envy them", right?
     I'm idly reflecting on this thought as they pass us by when the little girl, all dressed up for dinner out with the family in her little dress and bows in her hair and whatnot - this precious, smiling little angel - turns her head towards me and before I can even think "awww, how cute...", she cuts loose this big, fat, spraying sneeze - right into my Dr. Pepper and all over my hand and trots on by without missing a beat.
     So I'd just like to say - Mr. and Mrs. Perfect of Guntersville, Alabama - if you happened to notice a brown-headed guy in a ball-cap and black suede jacket sitting on the bench and drinking a Dr. Pepper as you as you were ordering your chicken Friday night at The Chicken Shack - you owe me 99 cents for my damn soft-drink and please teach your little snot-slinging germ-factory some basic social skills, okay? Otherwise, just leave her home at the barn next time you go out.
     Thank you.

Hef: Tthe Videogame

     Well, sounds like a good enough idea to me. In a planned videogame (likely to come with an M rating), players will be able to take on the persona of Hugh Hefner, Playboy magazine magnate and perennial partier, as they build up their own magazine empire and strive to live out "the ultimate Playboy lifestyle".
     No word yet on whether gamers will collect Viagra power-ups or magical smoking jacket armor upgrades, but I have to admit, shallow fellow that I am I gotta have this game 'cause the guy's my hero. What other seventy-year-old could get away with the stuff he does and not be pilloried by society?

I Thought This Had Already Happened

     Spam estimated to overtake real email in 2003. Speaking as someone who gets about 50 pieces of utter garbage in my inbox everyday I would have figured this was already the case, guess I'm just unlucky.

Quoth the Raven...

A really original 404 page.

Lights Aren't Just for the Tree Anymore

     If you really want to impress your holiday guests this year, how about some Litecubes? Litecubes are plastic recreations of ice cubes with cooling gel inside that lights up like a glowstick and illuminates your drink. They come in various colors and, Lord knows why, I thought they looked pretty cool, though.

Belter

A spiffy, full color version of the arcade classic, Asteroids.

  

A Little Holiday Cheer

     Here's a few obligatory seasonal posts. First off, I made a couple desktop designs in the spirit of the season, pictured above. If you'd like to use them, just click here for the one on the left and here for the one on the right. They're both 800x600 but I may put up other resolutions in a day or two, so if you're on a different resolution just mail me and I'll try and resize them for you if you can't do it yourself.
     In case you were wondering, NORAD is tracking Santa, so if you and the kids want to be posted on his whereabouts, click here. Who is St. Nicholas, anyway and are he and Santa the same? Discovering the truth about Santa Claus.
     Well, there are still seventeen days till Christmas, so maybe that'll hold you over for right now, I'll be sure to post some more yuletide stuff as the days go by.

Did I Post This Already?

     After a year of blogging stuff like this, sometimes I ask myself that question, when posting things. What the heck, I will again, it's kinda cute. A Flash kitten that's really curious about your cursor.

The Life Waste-O-Rama Quiz

     I normally don't link to a lot of quizzes, but this one was pretty out there...this guy hates tv and his quiz makes some dramatic points. I love the theme music, it gives it this weird air of sincerity. It's a must-see.

This is Kind of Tasteless, However...

     It was also pretty funny :P Elmo's Got a Gun.

Superfood

     Who could ever forget grocery items like Captain America bottled water? Huh? Oh well, this, and an assortment of other superhero-themed snack treats can be found here.

Wind Walkers

     Strange, esoteric sculptures that walk when a gust of wind comes through, modeled on computer by the artist before being built, these wooden legs and bodies will soon be walking on their own, he hopes, by saving the energy so they can walk regardless of windspeed.

Super Monitor, the Future of Procrastination

     If anyone has twenty grand laying around, please, feel free to send me one of these 180 monitors...the thing's huge and shaped to immerse you in your pc and hooks up easily to any computer.

The Halifax Explosion

     Approximately 9:04 on December 6th 1917, in Halifax, Candada, the Imo and the Mont Blanc, both carrying explosives for the war effort in Europe, brushed into one another and set off the second-largest man-made explosion history, with deference to the bombings in Japan.
The explosion and resulting tidal-wave caused the destruction of a fifth of the city and resulted in the loss of around 2,000 lives and nearly a thousand serious injuries, in one of the most tragic days in the country's history.

The Gumball Bandit and Other Tales of Idiocy

     I love the stupid crook stories and it seems there are always plenty in the news. It's funny, because not only is some criminal-type always out there getting caught doing something stupid, without fail it seems that someone always comes along to top the last one in terms of sheer foolishness.
     Here's a perfect example: Terry Hubbel and his driver, Jared Poindexter were arrested in a New Hanover when Hubble attempted to make off with a gumball machine, in a courthouse swarming with police officers, who were in full attendance, due to the swearing-in of their Sherrif.
     Then there's folks like Steve Brasher, 42. Steve was handed down a life sentence today for shooting and killing his friend Willie Lawson, 39, in a dispute over Lawson having drank his last beer. I recall mentioning this incident last November, when it occurred and I still think a good chewing out would have been more appropriate, or, at most, a sound ass-kicking. Probably Brasher feels the same way, since cold store-brought beers are probably one of the harder things to come by in prison.
     In other stupid news, 19 year-old Aaron Bell isn't the brightest bulb on the tree, either. Always remember, if you're going to rob a place, especially a place you work at, it might be a good idea to wear as mask. It gets better, though - Bell didn't even get any money from the robbery and in an act of supreme dumbness, the cash-strapped would-be robber actually showed up for work for his shift just three days after the incident. The cops were called and arrested Bell as he was changing into his KFC garb.
     Just goes to show you don't have to be some young herion addict to flip out and do dumb things - a Welsh grandmother was banned from bingo, after punching and giving two black eyes and a broken nose to a lady who'd taken her "lucky chair".
     Finally, I almost feel sorry for this guy, just because he's so lame. Forty schoolchildren chased down and caught the theif, who was too winded to go on. Time to stop smoking, buddy.

Blammo!

     If there's anything cooler than high-speed photography of bullets plowing through various types of objects, I've yet to see it. Some good stuff here, like the above pic of a .444 Marlin blasting it's way through a Coke.

Ultimate Go-Kart

     Okay, I really want one of these - go-karts fitted with gas turbine engines, another idea whose time has come.