Friday, December 06, 2002

The Gumball Bandit and Other Tales of Idiocy

     I love the stupid crook stories and it seems there are always plenty in the news. It's funny, because not only is some criminal-type always out there getting caught doing something stupid, without fail it seems that someone always comes along to top the last one in terms of sheer foolishness.
     Here's a perfect example: Terry Hubbel and his driver, Jared Poindexter were arrested in a New Hanover when Hubble attempted to make off with a gumball machine, in a courthouse swarming with police officers, who were in full attendance, due to the swearing-in of their Sherrif.
     Then there's folks like Steve Brasher, 42. Steve was handed down a life sentence today for shooting and killing his friend Willie Lawson, 39, in a dispute over Lawson having drank his last beer. I recall mentioning this incident last November, when it occurred and I still think a good chewing out would have been more appropriate, or, at most, a sound ass-kicking. Probably Brasher feels the same way, since cold store-brought beers are probably one of the harder things to come by in prison.
     In other stupid news, 19 year-old Aaron Bell isn't the brightest bulb on the tree, either. Always remember, if you're going to rob a place, especially a place you work at, it might be a good idea to wear as mask. It gets better, though - Bell didn't even get any money from the robbery and in an act of supreme dumbness, the cash-strapped would-be robber actually showed up for work for his shift just three days after the incident. The cops were called and arrested Bell as he was changing into his KFC garb.
     Just goes to show you don't have to be some young herion addict to flip out and do dumb things - a Welsh grandmother was banned from bingo, after punching and giving two black eyes and a broken nose to a lady who'd taken her "lucky chair".
     Finally, I almost feel sorry for this guy, just because he's so lame. Forty schoolchildren chased down and caught the theif, who was too winded to go on. Time to stop smoking, buddy.

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