Wednesday, March 06, 2002

This Is the World We Live In - March 6th, 2002 A.D.: The Return of the Roman Colliseum In The Post Absurdism Era

Well, today's the kind of day that blogs were created for, you've got everything today - the celebs and semi-celebs like Adam Ant are doing their part to contribute to our diet of essential news. Ant, as you may recall, completely flipped out awhile back.

The ninth time was the charm for rap star P. Diddy (previously known as Puff Idiot) as he finally found time in his busy schedule of dating supermodels and giving moronic interviews to show up in family court and start paying child support.

Then of course you have the out and out crazy stars, like trigger-happy former NBA center Jason Williams.

This just in - apparently Williams formerly had appeared in gun safety ads. If I was the legal counsel for the deceased's family, I'd bring that up in court.

"Well, well...Mr. Williams, your being the staunch advocate of gun safety that you are, of course you'd never have been carelessly waving around a shotgun in your bedroom that way and accidentally shot someone, surely you meant to do it." At the very least it's going to make him look like a complete hypocrite in front of the jury.

Sure, he was probably goofing around with the shotgun and it was accidental, but hey, the limousine driver's family should take everything they can - right down to his Nikes - just for his being so stupid, if not for lying about it and trying to cover it up as a suicide - as has been alleged.

Winona's out there shoplifting something as we speak, this point I wouldn't be surprised if Russel Crowe shot a bunch of people and hijacked a bus or something.

Even Mrs. Partridge is making headlines, preparing to duke it out in divorce court with her hubby Marty Ingels. It's full-tilt divorce mania in t.v. land these days.

Speaking of fights...I guess it's no wonder that in violent times like the ones we're living in, pugilism is all the rage - so much so that it looks our Washington D.C. may even tolerate Mike Tyson.

Meanwhile, FOX is readying to launch it's much hyped spectacle of semi-celeb human tragedies, the "Paula Jones vs. Tanya Harding" match - soon to be followed by a Danny "Danny Partridge" Bonaduce vs. Barry "Greg Brady" bout. Sure...this is going to meet with a wee bit of public outcry, but I have a feeling it'll be a huge hit.

I think celebrity boxing matches could be huge. We can only hope it catches on...just think of the possibilities for future bouts: Gary Hart vs. Gary Condit, M.C. Hammer vs. Vanilla Ice, Anne Heche vs. the hundreds of voices in her head...the entertainment possibilities are staggering.

I see could see this becoming the new national past time, it's got all the excitement and glamour of cockfighting, minus the guilty feeling of having harmed a real living being with feelings. My only suggestion is that they should throw in a few "Fear Factor" touches of torture before the actual fight, just to see how far these tabloid perennials and sitcom castoffs will go for a buck.

I'm betting Dustin Diamond would crawl buck-naked through a swimming pool of leeches, all the while barking like a dog if you promised him a hundred bucks and a George Foreman Grill. Isn't it in the best interest of television's viewing audience to find out? Come on, FOX, push the envelope a little...and bring back The Family Guy while you're at it.

Let's face it, Americans are obsessed with celebrity and whatever made you famous doesn't really matter, if you're famous for something embarassing, all the better - we're there, baby! - like a group of hammerheads on a sickly seal, ready to tear into that carcass and pick you apart till there's nothing left but the bones. You say you still want your fifteen minutes of fame, regardless? Then click here.

Then There's the Weird Stuff

Take, for instance, the instant-classic video of John Ashcroft belting out the song he wrote on television.

Fast-food prankster serves up a pot-laced taco to a customer who turns out to be a cop.

85,000 chickens killed in a lightning strike

Brains, brains and still more BRAINS!.

The Wild World of Web Design

This guy's site has a really original design, I love it.


In other design-related issue, check out the Society for the Elimination of the Color Pumpkin From the Web.

Ghost Sites - forgotten orphans of the internet.

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