Wednesday, June 05, 2002

McDonald's Pays Out $10 Million to Hindus and Vegans

Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, I realize that I'm ranting a little more than usual, but I found one more thing to get upset about that I wanted to share.

The McDonald's corporation just settled a lawsuit brought about by Hindus and various vegetarian groups. Apparently, the fast-food behemoth failed to inform these folks that their french fries were cooked in oil containing beef-flavoring and now Ronald and company are shelling out ten million dollars and offering up formal apologies to all who were offended.

Now, actually, I was aware that their fries contained tallow. I'm not a vegetarian, but I do distinctly recall reading that there was a small amount of the beef-flavoring in their fries, which, at one time, were cooked in pure lard. This was shortly after health-watchdog groups were on their case and trying to get them to convert to pure vegetable oil. Their explanation of the small amounts of flavoring used was that the fries simply wouldn't have that great flavor that they're so famous for. I didn't find this out by digging through piles of documents uncovered by Ralph Nader or The Smoking Gun, either, it was printed quite plainly on one of their little tray placemats at the time, along with some other facts about their food.

Now I have one question for the Hindus, vegans and whoever else was in on this lawsuit: what in the HELL were you doing eating at McDonald's in the first place? Didn't it occur to you that Mickey D's isn't exactly a proponent of vegetarian quisine? Ever heard of a guy named the Hamburgler? It's not exactly a health-food store, okay you morons? Now, more than likely, the money and the apology won't be enough for these whiners...oh no. They'll wind up having to ditch the tried-and-true and, might I add, delicious recipe for fries that everyone knows and loves, just to satisfy a minority of McDonald's customers who probably shouldn't have even been there in the first place and that's just sad. I understand that, especially for the Hindus involved, the fry thing may have been kind of traumatic.

Still though, people, it's Mc Freaking Donald's, okay? Maybe you should have asked what was going on back there in the kitchen, instead of just gobbling down your fries so cluelessly. In fact, what are you there for in the first place? McDonald's is in the business of KILLING COWS, for god's sake. In fact, I would assume that the McDonald's Corporation is responsible for the deaths of more cows than anything else on the face of the earth, so isn't it just a tad hypocritical for you to be there eating in the first place?

I don't see a need for McDonald's to apologize to anyone for this, in the same way that they shouldn't have to bend over backwards to satisfy people who are too stupid to keep from spilling their coffee on themselves, then sue them when they burn themselves. It's bad enough they serve those vastly inferior baked apple pies now, as opposed to the much-tastier fried ones they used to serve, thanks to the health-food police...don't take away my fries, Ronald, I beg of you.

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