Sunday, August 18, 2002

Reach Out and Touch Someone - in the Year 52,002 A.D.

Apparently (assuming this isn't a hoax, I haven't researched it but it sounds legit) some French folks are going to send up a time capsule - in a satellite that will orbit the earth for ages and finally plummet from the sky roughly 50,000 years from now. Here's the cool part: they're letting anyone who feels the urge to attach their own email messages (up to 6,000 characters) for posterity and, ostensibly, their future descendants.

I'm currently an unmarried, socially-inept computer nerd, so it's beginning to look as though the genetic buck may stop here for me. However, I couldn't resist leaving a message for the society of the future. The following is the shoutout I plan to bestow upon the giant-headed, galaxy-travelling, silver-spandex wearing, futuristic peepz:

Dear Futurefolk,

I sincerely hope that this message is being read by a human, as opposed to a dirty, horseback-riding, talking ape. That said, I'd like to tell you that I'm utterly amazed anyone managed to make it out of the 21st century. What with the wars, plagues, global warming and all the scary implications of the genetic and technological innovations of recent years, for anyone to have made it past the year 2020 was quite a trick and I applaud you on your hardiness. You're a very resourceful crew, indeed.

I suppose someone either managed to rally the earth's people and bring about some social epiphany, ushering in a new era of peace and enlightenment for mankind or - more likely - you're a world of ultra-badass motorcycling mutants with mohawks and shotguns who've managed to shrewdly survive by hoarding gas, killing those weaker than yourselves and drinking your own urine for sustenence. Hey, either way - good for you!

By the way, how are the cockroaches?

Yours truly,

Jimmy Olsen - Your Simple, Barbaric Ancestor

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